On Coming Out

One of the things that most gay teens both look forward to and dread is their coming out process. There may be a million way to do it, and a million possible outcomes, but either way it's a necessary thing. You can do it person by person, all at once, or just tell people if they ask you.

The first thing about coming out is when you shouldn't do it. First of all, you shouldn't do it during an argument, the anger that person is experiencing may cloud the their emotions about this, and they may seem angry at you for being gay. Second, Do not come out until you are certain you are gay, and you are okay with it yourself. If you're not okay with it, why should the people you love be? Third, it is recommended that you wait until you can support yourself before you come out. This way if you can get an unsatisfactory reaction, you can handle living on your own. I might also add, don't introduce a boyfriend or girlfriend as coming out. There could be some unwanted consequences if you do this. I also recommend that you do not drop it as a bombshell. Don't just randomly say, "guess what mom and dad. I'm gay!" This may surprise them way too much and they may react on instinct, without considering their love for you.

Before you come out you should do a few things. First of all, practice. Come out to a few trusted friends. Get support from them, and ask them for suggestions on telling your parents. Secondly, do some research! Get on the internet and search for coming out ideas, or maybe a support group. Also, find a few organizations for parents of gay teens, so they can find out information if they need it, such as PFLAG. Be ready for any question that they might throw at you, because they'll most likely have a few.

If whoever you come out asks a question like "Why?" or "Are you sure?" answer them honestly. And if you become upset by the questions they ask, don't become overwhelmed with emotion. They most likely just don't understand what you're going through.

If someone has an unsatisfactory reaction to your coming out, it's probably best to just give them space. They'll need some time to realize the implications of what you've told them, but they'll most likely work past them.

This I feel is almost the most important thing of all. If you fear for your safety when telling someone, make sure you have someone there, who knows already, that can protect you.

A lot of teens fear this major event in their lives. To this day I fear the reaction I'll receive from my parents. Yes, that's right I haven't told them yet. But, I have managed to tell many of my friends, and it couldn't have gone better. In fact, I told three of my good friends just yesterday. Everyone I've told so far has been great, and has accepted me for who I am, and I hope the same goes for you.

P.S. I'll insert some possibly helpful links down here to help you out!

PFLAG
OutProud
Coming Out Tips
EmptyClosets.com (a forum for gay teens)

For emptyclosets, I recommend the 'Resources' section, but it's also a great place to just be yourself. :)